The prodigal goth bastard

Bagaimana belajar Bahasa Inggeris

2008-07-07T20:35:00.005+08:00

OK..this is going to be kinda weird..but this time I will be posting in full Bahasa Melayu, the official language of Malaysia. Anyway, this post is about how to learn English.

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Selamat datang ke blog yang entahhapahapaentah ini. Kebelakangan saya tengok ramai yang di kaca TV yang suka campur adukkan BM dengan BI. Rojak gila-babi dan meluat saya tengok. Jadi, di sini saya akan cuba ulaskan bagaimana saya belajar BI dari kecil sehingga sekarang.

Mungkin kebanyakkan dari teknik saya yang berikutnya tidak boleh diterima pakai atas beberapa sebab, seperti wang dan cara hidup keluarga. Sebelum itu, harus diberitahu bahawa mak saya tidak tahu langsung BI dan ayah saya boleh bertutur dalam BI dengan sempurna macam perdana menteri Uganda.

Berikut adalah kronologi pembelajaran saya :

Semasa Tak Tahu Apa2, 1-5 tahun
Buat bodoh..

Semasa Kecik Gila, 5-10 tahun

"Komik Itu Bagus"
Telah diberikan satu kotak besar (kiranya besar sebab semasa itu saya kecil...) yang mempunya komik-komik superhero dari USA, contohnya X-Men, X-Factor, Fantastic Four, Daredevil, dan sebagainya. Nak tanya mak, mak pun tak faham..Nak tanya ayah, ayah kerja sekuriti (selalu takda kat rumah).. Jadi apa yang saya buat? Mintak mak belikan kamus. Takda sapa suruh, takda sapa paksa, saya sendiri yang fikir kalau tak faham kena pakai kamus. Oleh itu, membaca komik itu menjadi lebih seronok! Contoh paling senang ialah apabila saya berhadapan dengan perkataan, "Liar." Mak cakap itu maksudnya orang itu seorang yang..err...liar dan tak reti duduk diam. Tapi, dalam komik tu situasi dia macam salah (saya fikir sendiri). Jadi, saya cari kamus saya tu.. tapi....tak faham jugak.. Kamus harga RM5 la katakan...

Tiba2, suatu hari tu sedang tonton McGyver (ke..Airwolf..tak ingat..) ada seorang pelakon tu sebut satu perkataan yang kalau difikirkan macam L I A R. Jadi, saya tengok terjemahan kat TV tu, dia tulis "PENIPU".. Haha.. Maka oleh itu, barulah saya faham! Kan seronok!

Moral :

1. pakai kamus.
2. jangan malu.
3. jangan beli kamus bahasa melayu atau cina

Semasa Kecik Gila, 11-18 tahun

"Subtitle Itu Tak Bagus"
Selalu tengok TV? Selalu tengok TV dan tengok subtitle/terjemahan kat bawah tu? Ikut apa yang saya buat dulu. Ambil selotep kertas putih (masking tape) dan tampal belah bawah tu banyak-banyak sampai tak dapat baca terjemahan dia. Sediakan satu kamus (yang harga lebih dari RM5). Kalau tak faham, cuba tulis di atas kertas bunyi perkataan itu disebut. Contohnya, "blog" menjadi "belog", ataupun "deja vu" menjadi "day ja voo". Selepas itu cuba hubungi rakan yang pandai dalam Bahasa Inggeris dan sebutkan ayat2 itu kepadanya. Itu yang saya buat dulu.

Moral :

1. sampai bila nak tengok subtitle?
2. tampal selotep selepas dapat persetujuan. Nanti kena baling batu-bata. Kang susah.
3. tonton dvd yang dahulunya kita pernah tengok, tapi kali ini ulang lagi sekali tanpa subtitle. Hafal cara sebutannya.

"Jangan Tengok Cerita Melayu atau Cerita Cina (bergantung pada bangsa anda"
Sudah menjadi kebiasaan untuk menonton rancangan yang anda memang faham. Kalau tak faham, bagaimana pula hendak menikmatinya. Tapi, nikmat kadangkala akan memusnahkan anda. Kadangkala sebab ayah dan emak yang nak tengok, jadi kita tiada pilihan lain. Kadang2 disebabkan oleh perli oleh keluarga, "Alah, kau tengok cerita omputih macam paham.. Meh sini remote, aku nak tengok Sure Heboh." Senang, beli dvd banyak2 dan tengok sendiri dengan PC anda atau dengan notebook anda. Saya telah tonton Matrix sebanyak 27 kali semata-mata untuk menaikkan tahap BI saya. Saya juga telah tonton filem Snatch sebanyak 16 kali. Kalau kamu boleh faham dialog2 di dalam cerita Snatch, baguslah. Sebab..macam bahasa alien.. Brad Pitt lak tu..

Moral :

1. Sure Heboh adalah rancangan paling buang masa di dunia dan tiada faedah. Kalau kamu ada 10minit lagi untuk hidup, kamu nak tengok rancangan yang macam tu?
2. Kadang2 keluarga adalah punca. Berikanlah dorongan.

Semasa Dewasa, 19-31 tahun

"Rojak not bagus, well.."
Apabila telah mendapatkan pekerjaan, kita sudah boleh mula mempraktikkan BI. Jika boss anda bukan Melayu, baguslah. Jika supervisor anda bukan Melayu, baguslah. Selalulah berkomunikasi dalam BI. Walaupun "broken", JANGAN sesekali dicampur adukkan dengan BM sebab itu akan memusnahkan kamu. Apabila kamu mencampur adukkan bahasa, ia akan menjadi kebiasaan. Bila ada pelancung yang tiba2 menghampiri kamu untuk panduan, perkara pertama yang kamu akan fikirkan adalah, "Alamak..camna nak cakap ni.." ataupun terus melarikan diri. Apabila kita sudah biasa berkomunikasi secara penuh dalam BI, kita akan menjawab semua2 orang putih itu dengan biasa.. Percayalah cakap saya..

Moral :

1. Bahasa Inggeris = Bahasa Inggeris. Bahasa Melayu = Bahasa Melayu
2. Kadang2 keluarga adalah punca. Berikanlah dorongan.

Untuk sebarangan komen, tinggalkan pesanan.

Terima kasih kerana membaca.

I'm taking back control, with my knuckles

2008-04-29T23:28:00.004+08:00

Just wanna let you guys know that I've completed the project that I mentioned on my previous post. I've also bought a new mobile last week Sunday, it was an SE W910i. Despite the critics I find this "Best 2008 Mobilephone" is..the best ever phone I've ever use.

Anyway, I'm not really in a good mood right now, maybe tired. I keep getting coming in late to the office eventho I really try to wake up early. Sorry, HR. I'm trying...

For the sake of being moody..I'm going to post this video from Five Finger Death Punch, entitled "White Knuckles" (just the lyrics). I'll see you guys around. Oh..thanks for dropping by to my "emo corner of the world"

I'm no Jesus

2008-04-09T22:10:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to say. Just the fact that I'm too good to people, and the fact that I can't say 'NO' to favors. I have always been busy in the office but always have time to help guys in trouble or with favors. I have no problem spending 5minutes just to help see if the server is working fine or not, 5minutes to help reboot several PCs (which are not under my jurisdiction) , 5minutes to reset the modems, blablablabla.. You know why?

Because I like to help.

Why is it when it's my time to get some help in the office I get, "Sorry, I have no time for you" or "I'm busy!" instead?

All I wanted to ask was a simple Yes or No question.

Me :"Were you the one who did this?"
Them: "Sorry, I have no time for you"
Me :"It's a simple Yes or No question"
Them: "I'm doing something urgent here"
Me: "Oh..sorry to bother you..."

How rude. I never blow off people like that. Even the times when people really need my help, I would think first if I can settle it in just several minutes. If I can't I would politely say that I am busy and would attend to that person shortly when I have the time (and then most of the time I'd forget about it... sorry ya...*especially to Bethamy*)

My work has been slowed down for 2 weeks now because I have no idea of how to do programming or those server-side stuff (Apache,Mohawk or whatever). I was born a designer and the only programming I know is MS DOS Basic programming back in the 80's. Therefore, for my current project, I've forced myself to learn these PHP programming bullshit that I don't know even a small bit. All I know about PHP are 'IF' and 'END' tags. So, when the project is going really slow, people would come to me and say, "Can you please hurry up?" Fucking jibai suckers. I work alone, okay? Do you see me working with a programmer? And yeah, i've requested for programmers help. All i get is a blank stare and,

Boss : "duh..why do you need a programmer to help you with it?"
Me : "err...these are programming stuff.."
Boss : "do you know that the programmers are busy and fully occupied right now"

I was gonna say "so, let's just wait for them to finish" but it's gonna sound that I'm just being hostile. So i just told him, "oh yeah, if I get into any problem, Google is my friend. No problem, man!"

But..people has also advised me to go ahead and do myself, because if I managed to pull it off, I would given the thumbs up.

Or maybe I'm just stupid and all I know is to say, "Yeah you're right!"

I just don't want to say anything anymore to HR because I would be labeled as a crybaby. But I do hope that they noticed that I'm late for work for 2 months straight now (but check out what time I usually go back, and take note what time my boss comes in and out). That would actually tells you something. It's not exactly my intention to come late every day, it's just that every morning when I open my eyes from sleep, I would tell myself, "Another hell.."

Sorry by the way..I don't kiss anyone's ass.

Ah fuck..tomorrow is another day. Bye.

p.s: Bethamy, I hope you're doing fine learning 3DStudio Max. It's very easy, ok. Go get some wallpapers with cool 3D renders and set it as your desktop wallpaper and then tell yourself, "I can do that too. Piece of cake." So everyday when you turn on the PC, you'll see the wallpaper first, and every singel day much closer to your ambition/dream.

Hydro Majestic Hotel Penang vs Sunway Seberang Jaya Hotel Penang

2008-03-28T22:51:00.006+08:00

On the 23rd until 27th of March, I was actually in Penang to meet my girlfriend. Yeap.. only a handful of people knows about her. We've been together since January 11th. So it was basically my second trip there because I've been there before back in 1998 to meet her (same person). It was faith and karma that made us to meet again. But I don't want to talk about my love stories anymore in my blog as I'd like to keep it personal.

Bottomline..I've never been happier in my life. :)

I stayed in Hydro Majestic Hotel (yes, "I", not "we") at Ferrenghi Beach for just RM190 per night. When I reached there, I got confused a lil bit coz the lobby doesn't look like a lobby! It's unique, niche and trendy. Absolutely beautiful. (I didn't take much photos of the hotel coz dun wanna be called a pervert, orang kampung or something..).

I checked out from there and checked-in into Sunway Seberang Jaya Hotel, which was a total letdown. Their roomrate was RM280. Here's the down and low between those 2 hotels from my opinion, in point form : (coz I'm lazy to type..heh)

HYDRO MAJESTIC HOTEL PENANG

FOR TEH WIN

1. Awesome lobby design
2. Spacious room
3. Very very friendly staff (even the housekeepers said "good evening" to me)
4. Their receptionists are attentive and friendly
5. I had a problem with my luggage bag lock, so i called for an assistance to pry it open. The staff came in less than 5minutes with a big ass cutter. It was around midnight. Thank you!
6. Good view of the beach (ok, my room didn't have the best view of the beach but still beautiful)
7. Lots of pillows!! woohoo!
8. Very comfortable bed
9. Near to the beach, just across the street (but I couldn't go there bcoz it was rainy :( )
10. Free parking space

FOR TEH LOSE

1. Well, I only got one gripe, which would be the hotel's lame and boring TV channels selection. But hey, why the heck would u wanna stay in the room? Go out! LOL!
2. Oh ya..no morning newspaper.

SUNWAY SEBERANG JAYA HOTEL PENANG

FOR TEH WIN

1. Very close to the town; therefore no problem for you to get around or get food

FOR TEH LOSE

1. Unfriendly staff. Stare at me and my gf for what..say Hello or Good Morning or something..
2. Parking is damn expensive unless u get your parking slip stamped in the lobby.
3. Small room

MY VERDICT : Hydro Majestic Hotel Winz!

I totally enjoyed my stay there and will be coming back ^^v

To check out the photos of my recent Penang trip, you can go to the following Flickr link. BTW, I snapped almost hundreds of photos so what you see here are not that much (yeah..i'm lazy to upload..)

Here are the places I've been to this time around:

1. Penang Hill
2. Komtar (eh, this place is still alive?)
3. Lots of local eateries. Do you like seafood? Go to Penang! (i can't eat seafood tho..&$%@!!..)
4. Ferry rides
5. Autocity
6. Padang Kota Lama
7. Padang Kota Baru
8. Shopping malls that I've forgot the names
9. The stalls at Gurney dunnowat (I forgot...)

Check out Photos of Shizu's Penang Trip

Of boxer shorts, push ups and Jack Welch (who?)

2008-03-09T23:16:00.004+08:00

On Friday night, something 'what the hell' but good thing happened. Me and the floor manager actually went out after work to a cybercafe to play Granado Espada. Till today, I still can't believe that I went out with him. When I told the officemates about it before leaving the office, everyone was like "yeah right". But hey, it did happened. He helped me buy Gpoints (for Granado Espada) for the double experience thingy and currently I'm at level 62 :)

He had to send me to the train at about 10:30pm coz I told him that my mom is normally alone at home. Oh yeah, I borrowed from him a book called "Winning" by Jack Welch who was the CEO of General Electrics. I've taken the initiative to go into management line. I'm 31 and should be firing people. Eh.. I mean, doing the planning and management stuff. If you are planning to become a leader of a company, buy that book (nah, I won't get any credits from Amazon). It'll teach you lots about becoming one and how to handle problematic staff.

Yesterday, I have started back doing pushups and I wanna say that body hurts like hell right now. 5 years back I could do 50~100 pushups.. Now I can only do till 30 pushups! This sucks. I'm gonna keep doing it until I can get back to 100.

Today, I just keep on leveling my GE characters but went out around 2pm to buy a couple of BUM boxer shorts and a Gatsby hair spray. Meh..should have bought a cap as well coz it's a pain to keep setting my hair every morning nowadays.

Nothing much to say for this post. See ya laterss.

Goodbye 2007. Oh no..it's 2008.

2008-03-03T00:03:00.003+08:00

Yes I know that it's already March, 2008. But today, I'm feeling a bit sentimental. So I went through some of the pics I still have in my pc and mobilephones and see events that has taken place before in 2007.

Surprisingly..lots of bad stuff in 2007. One of the reason that I wanna recap 2007 is because in 2008 me and my family will be making some important decisions. Me and my family will be moving, but not together. As at right now, our family has been pushed to sell the land and being promised to be given another house instead.

But..i never never trust malays. I'm mixed of both chinese and malay, in case you didn't know. So, I'm gonna get my family a lawyer so we won't be cheated. Hey, you know any lawyer that wanna help us for free? Lemme know ya. (I'm not playing here :/ )

Hmm.. 2007. Good things and lots of bad things. Here are the big ones.

1. First time on a plane, to Kuching to meet my girlfriend (now ex).
2. Resigned from MirageWorks, first time doing 3D and digital imaging as a pro.
3. My house burnt down. I totally stopped believing in god on that day and ever.
4. Joined Offgamers

9th of June 2007 : House burnt down

Back portion of the house at the moment

My current room with no bed and cupboard.

Damai Beach Lagoon Resort that I miss so much! I miss the memories there.

2008 plans?

1. Being forced to sell the land, my family will move to... dunno where..
2. Resign from my current job and move to a different state.
3. Open a retail shop that sells online games stuff (not everyone got creditcard, u know..)
4. Release a demo album with a project band.
5. Penetrate the 3D scene again, targeting international exposures.

Attica! Attica!

2008-02-08T22:42:00.000+08:00

The HR Director spoke with me on Friday and said that she would like my opinion if our department goes to 5days week. I was like.. wow, they really do cares. But is this an aftermath? A guy in my department has tendered his resignation because going for further studies, another 2 dudes also thinking of leaving in the next few months (I'm so dead if everyone is leaving...) and I'm still thinking if I should stay here and go back into graphics design. Personally, I HATE people who changes job just because of trying to get a better salary. FYI, I was offered to work with Citibank with double my salary now 1 week ago. But I didn't wanna go there. Because I'm gonna have to meet those uber customers..which I don't prefer to. It's just not my cup of tea. I don't do this meet-people sales thingy, m'kay. I'd rather stay here and work my ass off.

I'm getting better anyway, and the managers doesn't get pissed with me that often now. I am in fact, grateful to work here. I have never ever got salary passed RM$1200 in my entire life. Hmm..washing cars back then for a mere RM$2 per day makes me wanna cry now.. I worked hard and long enough, and I deserve my current salary. So, those people in my department actually fought for a 5days week since 2 years ago. And, they've won :)

Congratulations. Don't fricking quit will ya. Pussies.

Other than that, been playing Granado Espada hardcore these few weeks. I've just got Grace Bernelli in my team and I have to level her up (my main chars at the moment is at level 47-48). Damn, this is annoying..Why does Bernelli have to start at level 32.. RAWR.

My GE family ; Valkyrs. This was when they were at Porto Bello Dock. BTW, I'm in Vivaldi server.

And, today is the second day of Chinese New Year.. and my mom doesn't wanna go meet her chinese mom this year... Will both of you quit messing around? Grow up! Past is past! (that would also mean, no ang pao for me this year.... :( )

Bleh, I gtg sleep now coz I have to work tomorrow. There's a big project coming up (i'm a one man army) so hopefully I can get it done (at least the proposal) before the company founder ..mmm..I can't tell you that part..

Ja~ ne

Finally, a new artwork.

2008-02-03T22:53:00.000+08:00

Warming up my hands again with Photoshop and manipulation. The latest is entitled "Everdream", because I was listening to Nightwish when I was doing it. Yeah, lame reason.

Check it out at http://firebreed.deviantart.com/art/Everdream-76360598

Shall I go do Dark Art again? Or Angelic Art? Hmm..

Btw, I've cut my hair this afternoon! This time it's really a japanese highschool reject. Haha. Cost me around RM40 at my fave saloon ; Yess Studios, Old Klang Road, near Pearl Point. And oh yeah, SE S500i camera really sucks. My Motorola V3x phone (same 2MP camera) is waaayy better than this. Too bad, I can't even turn on that phone again after a big big fall. Meh.

p.s: i had to crop the pic coz my room was really uhmm..messy... :p

Back to normal blog skin

2008-01-29T13:40:00.000+08:00

Bethamy "complained" that the top header image was disturbing and gruesome (to her..) and she wasn't able to leave any "comments" for any of my posts. So, what the heck, I've changed everything back to default. So, eat your heart out and leave comments! =)

It's my lunch time right now, so..... /run

Takes guts to live with a face full with scars. Can you?

2008-01-27T21:29:00.000+08:00

Last Friday, I went back with the office HR staff (which will remain anonymous for privacy sake). Normally I would try to finish up my work as soon as possible so that I could go back with her (yeah, I know..). I get frustrated sometimes if I couldn't finish up my work when she comes over and say, "Hey, quick quick!". I used to have the hots for her but decided to just let it go. I have the tendency to go with relationship that I know gonna get me into such headache. She's not the same race and religion as me, eventho I'm an Atheist..but hey, this is Malaysia, land of freedom (bwahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!)

coff coff..uhmm.. Anyways..

I MSN-ed her and said to get ready to go back (around 6:30pm). She said she'll wait me downstairs bcoz she's already done with her work. I panicked bcoz I haven't wrote my daily report yet. After pushing the Turbo button I managed to get it done in less than 60secs. (Hmm..i wonder what i wrote in the daily report..) so I went down and waited for her. U know what...she stood me up again. It's her attitude, that she can't wait for several more minutes. So there I was, smoking another ciggy. And then I thought..bleh..I should just go home. Right before I cross the road nearby a clinic here, I gave her a call. Surprisingly, she said that she's coming down! WTH. So I ran back and waited... Lalala.. Odd enough, I'm waiting for her instead of the other way around.

Anyway, she kept "playing" with her mobilephone, all the time keeping her head down. When we were gonna sit down and wait for the train to come.....she sat on the right side of the steel bench..normally she would sit on the left.. Weird eh.

And then she would continue to play with her mobilephone, all the while keeping her hair to the frontside as much as possible. I knew something was not right... Same thing with when we got into the train, she would sit on the right. "What's she hiding?", I thought. Throughout the journey she never dared to look at my face. So it was my stop, and then she finally looked at me to say goodbye and I saw what was wrong with her ; she got some small scars near her lips and right side of her face. (maybe she fell down). I was..ahhhhh..now I know why..

Right after I get off the train, I sent her a text message,

"Don't be afraid of how you look like."

She replied back saying of how I could managed to know about it and said thank you.

Wow.. life is interesting.

So how do you think people like me with thousands of hole on my face live and face the community? If you read my post regarding 2002, I would just fuck you off with my small small fist (which still surprises me with its devastating effect..bleh). Nowadays, I just keep it in my heart. No point of getting into trouble now. I'm 30~31. I'm tired.

You know, I'm glad and not glad. Glad that atleast someone on earth understands how it feels like to live with "not perfect" face. I'm not glad bcoz I know how she's feeling right now.

"HR Girl, be strong ya! And don't forget my salary.. Hehe.."

Anyway, I feel bad about posting the 2002 blog the other day. Eventho those were the things I would pretty much like to express, I guess those aren't right or civilized. Sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings.

To my floor manager ; Take it easy, man. I know what you're going through. I got the same faith as yours exactly on New Year. Yes, it's true ; Alpha and Omega. What ever ends comes with a new beginning. If you wanna go lunch or yam cha with me some day, just let me know. Yes I know, you read my blog.....

To wrap things off for today, here are some memorable quotes from Offgamers's staff :

"Everybody is born stupid. But I learned to fuck." -Floor Manager. How disconcerting....
"What's the ETA? Where's your report?" -A colleague imitating the Flr Mgr..everyday..
""God" is nothing more than a marketing scheme." -A fellow Atheist in the office.

Misc Things:
1. Playing Granado Espada again. The Flr Mgr gave me 1million Vis. Woohoo!
2. Playing Need For Speed ProStreet. Goddamn..the R35 is sure as hell good looking.

Going back to 2002 ? Should I ?

2008-01-23T23:34:00.000+08:00

Ah..I love 2002. That's when I got really long hair, kept saying 'fuck you' to total strangers, always in some sort of fight, wore my Nirvana and/or Cradle of Filth shirt, gave no shit about love or what people said about me. Those were the days. How ironic, that when, I keep my head down and be a better person (who are you to judge what is good or bad anyway), there are lots of people trying to take advantage of me. Either on the way to the office, while working, or just plain hang out, people would think like I'm...nothing..Just a person to step on or don't give a fuck. Hmm.."come over" to 2002 then..if you dare. It's the year when I don't care if I've combed my hair to "normal people standards", don't even know the word "sorry" and "thank you" and pissed when people talk about how great god is.
Well, after I've changed, like I said, people think that I'm weak and can just step on my head.... Don't play with fire. 'Cause a tiny fire could burn one big kingdom.

Here are the things I want to point out, if you know what I'm talking about, then it's for you.. :

"Me from 2002" speaking

1. I don't fucking care if you can't move in with me. Stay there then.

2. Fuck you for telling me what to do with my body. You're not Miss World.

3. I can't do all these fucking job alone and expect all these fucking crap to finish before 6pm. What happens if I suddenly quit my job or MIA?

4. This new big project I'm gonna have to do, cannot be done alone. Yeah, you know that I can't do it alone because short of manpower. Well, whoop-dee-doo, Mr Professor. If right now I always go back late, can you imagine what time I'll be going back when I start doing this new thing?

5. I'm hardworking BUT DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE. HOLY FUCK.

6. Why the fuck I always get long-distance girlfriends who aren't committed to relationship? Why the fuck ALWAYS long-distance?

7. Why the fuck you send a guy to the moon but there are lots of people starving in your country? Fucking retard.

8. People are quiting because not much of public holidays and no OT. I know that you don't know why so I'm telling you now. They're tired. Girl, you better act quick. Heck, eventho no OT but I still stay back to finish my work. What do I get in return? Just tired and sleepy next morning. I read somewhere on the Net, one of the reasons ppl quit is bcoz the boss never said Thank You.

9. I'm not an emo. You're just blinded with capitalism. Go in the gray area sometime and you'll see what I see.

Those are the things I would say if I'm still in 2002. I don't actually like to go back there, but I just hate it when people think that I like to say "sorry, it's my fault" all the time. I've changed my life to be a better person (whatever you mean by "better"..seems like i'm still surrounded by morons who call themselves as "normal people") but...........you know wat...........

"..well, whatever, nevermind.. " -Kurt Cobain.

I'm surrounded by "perfect" people. What can I do?

My artworks at MirageWorks

2007-12-22T20:43:00.000+08:00

www.mirage-works.com

Wow. They've revamped the whole site. Nice work, Mr KC!

Here's a list of what I've did when I was with them, according to their website:

3D Computer Graphics

Abstract : 1
Realism : 1, 2, 4 (i couldn't finish it coz was quiting the job, so someone else musta have finished it), 19
Sci-Fi : 1, 2, 3, 4

Illustration

Vector : (manipulation and layout. actual illustrations by freelancers) 2 - 12 were for the moronic Hewlett Packard Singapore client. I still hate you, you know. Bollocks.

Ahh..those were the days. Now I'm stucked here doing something that I never planned to. Have I chose the correct path? Do I belong in RMT or 3D? My boss suggested that I do 3D freelancing. That's not a bad idea :)

So..to start off my 2007 3D...I'm gonna do something which is related to what I like currently ; Lineage 2 online game.

Watch this space~

The other side

2007-12-11T23:36:00.001+08:00

Along the way, I've went through heaven and hell on earth. Hey, I'm still here. Barely. But still breathing. Last week went for a medical checkup bcoz I had stress related symptoms. I tend to forget my footing when going down/up the stairs, I forget the things told to me 5seconds ago, I've lost more weight than normal, I bite more and more nails, I tend to forget that I'm crossing the road... Basically, I can't figure out where, or what I'm doing. Yes..what the hell. I'm taking meds given by the doc, so if it still doesnt "work", I'm gonna have to go back to the hospital for a brain scan or something. Well.......I should be going back there again actually. But that would create suspicion among the top management. I WANT to work! I want to reach 5 figure salary! I want to take over the floor manager's position! (well okay, not now.. crazy ah you..) If I keep applying for emergency leave and/or medical leave, the top hats won't like it, my mom won't like it, and my dad won't like it (my dad never take any MC ..EVER!)

BTW, the floor manager is not a bad person. He's just being ass kicked by the big kahuna. I asked him the other day, how does he sleep every night with every big tasks in his head, bcoz frankly, I would have got braindead! (Jokingly, he said that he doesn't sleep..heh) Instead of being pissed with him (like I did before), I actually feel PITY for this guy. There is no way in hell got some other ppl that can replace him (well, unless he comes over to me with a couple of guns)

All I can say to him is this : Yes, there are lots of people in the office that actually hates you, but I understand. Being a leader is not an easy shit. It IS shit, but it ain't easy. When your staff do things badly, you're the one who'll get the iron rod thrust in your ass. TWO iron rods! Keep doing the "smiley" when MSNing your subordinates. Make them feel like you're a friend, and they will do their job happily. Happy staff does their work efficiently and with dedication. Stressed out staff, well..you know the story. Goodluck! :)

Anyways, there are things that I want shout out. More or less the other side of my life that ppl don't actually know or notice. Here there are :

- Sexually molested, twice, when I was a small kid.
- First suicide attempt at age 9.
- Most recent suicide attempt was circa 2002. It was my uhmm...lost count..
- I have Hello Kitty fetish
- I'm an Atheist since 2002. Still am. I don't do this religion thingy.. Hoaxes and myths if u ask me.

BTW, I was watching House MD and heard one nice quote from him, and I wanna share it with you :)

"If you believe in Eternity, then, Life is irrelevant.."

Cool eh? :)

Oh, here's my recent screenshot of my Lineage2 character. Currently at level 66 (hooray!)

note: had to reduced the image quality

BTW..stop dreaming about getting RM5000 salary if all you do everyday is going back home at 5pm sharp. Do extra work. Get your effort noticed by your superiors. Get promoted after that. As what my floor manager said to me :

"There are no stupid people in this world. Only lazy people."

But yeah I know, don't overdo it until it kills you. I'm not stupid. I'm not a moron. I'm a hardworking SOB. Same like my dad. Same like my granpa.

Well, it's already past midnight. I should be going to bed now. Should have good rest, after all, RMT (Real-money Trading) business is very very fast and drains your energy quickly. (and your sanity eventually. bleh..)

See ya!!

p,s: i'm gonna change my blog skin again.

HR Manager that cares!

2007-11-23T23:03:00.000+08:00

The HR Manager spoke with me this afternoon. She asked me if I'm still interested in joining Customer Service instead. I told her, if I go there, who will be replacing me then? I'm not the kind of person that jump out of a burning plane. Instead, I'd rather die with it. Dunno why.. maybe it's because I'm a Scorpio...

The bum thing is..she reads my blog! ZOMGWTFBBQ!

Well, it's actually not a bad thing (according to her) because I have a "place" to let out my frustation and anger (it's either the blog or I will let the toilet seat up. You choose.) She said that, she would normally tell her problems to her mirror (that's one unlucky mirror). How pity. I thought that when we're married, we have someone to talk to. Not everything is in color I guess. Most of them are gray. ("Gray is the new black" - Mel Gibson)

Shut up, Mel.

Anyways, this Sunday is her birthday, so I would like to say,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MRS HR MANAGER!

(I only got 2 slices of pizza!! Not enough le! RAWR!)

Oh ya, I've been playing Lineage 2 these few weeks. Na'ah. It's not the official server but a private server. I'm playing in L2Oasis.com's server. At the moment, I've reached level43, Dark Elf Spellhowler. I chose to play a Spellhowler class/type because I'd play a magician class in about any MMORPG games. Below are some screenies of my character. I've named my character "Bunny" because that's what I still love to call my ex-gf. (I still wish I don't need to put the "ex" in front of "gf")

My char with UI turned on. I have so many skills in my skillbars :/

UI turned off. Mosquitos =.="

When casting the Scroll of Escape.

Taken when I was at a coliseum or something.

Well, got to go sleep. I didn't have time to login into L2 tonight because I was preparing a long ass spreadsheet for muh bossess. Need to hand it over before tomorrow afternoon.

p.s: I couldn't believe I bought a new PC just because I wanna play L2. LOL. Money WELL spent. Ooohh! Wanna buy a new mobilephone soon!!

Shopping spree! Plus, a job offer.

2007-11-20T13:32:00.000+08:00

Last week I bought myself a new desktop ; Pentium C2D 2.2, 2GB RAM, 160Gb HDD, Sapphire 2600 HT 256Mb graphics, Belkin G Wireless Router and Belkin Wireless Adapter, but still the same old 15" monitor :p (Total of RM1700+)

I also bought several shirts. I'm gonna get myself a DVD-writer drive, a 19" monitor, a new desk to put my PC and lots more. I'm gonna spend about RM3,000 for this month, because I'm gonna also get muhself a new mobilephone around RM1k.

Where do I get such amount of money? LOL. It's actually my savings which I was saving for marriage. But fuck that. I'm gonna spend it. All these years I've been spending by giving out gifts, flowers, blablabla. So this time and onwards, I'm spending my hard earned money, myself!

Hmm..what else to put in my shopping list. Haha.

Oh ya, SOGO called me up yesterday and offering me a job in Advertising and Promotion. I'm gonna take it if they have at overtime and 5 days or 5 1/2 days week. I'm still waiting for their email about the details and stuff.

"..it was this road that sees the end of us."

2007-11-04T23:54:00.001+08:00

My Kuching vacation are mixed of joy and sadness. It was very joyful because we went to places that we never got the chance to go when I went there back in March. Sad because me and my girlfriend broke up.

I arrived at Kuching International Airport around 11am or something, after much turbulence and annoyance of small kids screaming in the plane. When I got into my gf's car, the first thing she said was that she was sad and dissapointed of me. I was like, wanted to go back into that same plane exactly that moment. I mean, I was really really looking forward to see her and spend my time with her... and not even a 'Hi' from her. Well then, i said to myself, "Here we go again..".

Actually, her mom and sister were waiting for me at their house. From the look of the whole situation, I think her mom was trying to show my gf's sis how ugly, skinny and fragile I am. Let's just say that her mom likes to talk bad things behind my back (which is not really a bad thing because I have problems controlling my anger if you talk bad things in front of me..but then again..talk bad things behind a person is not ethical either..).

So then, my gf decided that maybe it is best that we become friends instead. I was expecting those words since March, because I can see that she's not really into this whole "sacrifice, blood and glory" thing. I said that, i don't do this "friend" thingy. I would normally change my cellphone number to a different number so that that person won't be able to call me again. I can't do this sort of thing because it hurts to know if that person wanna tell me that she's going out with someone, or getting married, or maybe letting me know that she's found someone that she love. I have problems with that. Big problem. She cried after I said that most probably, she won't hear about me anymore when I get into the plane home.

We went to several places, such as the Sarawak Cultural Village, Jong's "lame" Crocodile Farm, went for shirts shopping at Parkson, watched Resident Evil Extinction movie at Metrowealth Riverside Cineplex..and uhmm...Okay, we didn't really went to lots of places. And that really sucked my vacation. We had planned for a night time ride around Kuching city, but uhmm..her mom...I still don't know if she was pretending to get sick or was really sick (but she was okay the next morning!!) so my gf had to cancel it. She just couldn't bear going out when her mom is sick. I W A S D I S S A P P O I N T E D. Because..it might be my last night with her...

So that night, she spent her time with her cats in the cats' house. I went there to accompany her.

I said,

"Your life is much worst than mine. You can't decide what to do with your life when you have someone deciding everything that you need to do and what to do. You don't have the freedom that most of us have. Life seems to be pathetic. I pity you..therefore, I am willing to be your friend to keep you accompanied.."

There was a glow within her tearful eyes, a sign of relief.

After that, we watched Ratatouille DVD in her house. (and i thought it was a stupid movie..It's really cool movie tho!). After about halfway we we're getting really sleepy and decided maybe we should just go to sleep. We hugged...maybe for the last time. That moment was really special to me. It is something that I would always keep in my memories. It was sad. Two person in love, one person rejected by the world, and another being forced to find a better one. Hopefully you guys realise that you guys just did...taking someone that I love from me in a bad way will get yourself into trouble from high above.

Honey, sorry that I'm not a 60+ kg. Sorry that I don't have a smooth facial skin. Sorry that I have yellow and uneven teeth. Sorry that I walk funny. Sorry that I'm not perfect.

Someday you'll find a much better person. A person that your mom would really really love to talk about to the neighbours, relatives, the world. Someone that she won't talk bad things about him. Someone that she allows you to go out at night.

I'm not that guy, I guess.

When we were heading to the Sarawak Cultural Village, my heart almost stopped when I realised that..it was on the same direction and road to our first 'honeymoon'..the Damai Beach Lagoon back in 3rd of March. And then I said to her..

"It was this road that lead me to you..and it was this road that sees the end of us"

She broke into tears..

I STILL can't believe this is happening. what the fuck? what the fuck?

As of right now, since the day I have arrived back from Kuching, I have been sobbing everyday. Call me gay..or a pussy for crying. This is my life people are playing. Why can't I have a perfect relationship at least once, for god's fucking sakes. If I have a gun NOW, I would blow my head off. This is my 8th breakup. And no longer I will fall in love with anyone, anymore. If I do, hope I will get run over by a truck for breaking this promise, this oath.

Guys, Sorry for this sad and annoying post. Anyway, here are some pics from that trip... maybe the last.. (click on the album)

Kuching 27-31 Oct 2007

This song is for her. "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson.

Going for a vacation

2007-10-27T00:54:00.000+08:00

As at the time of this writing, it's almost 1AM. I'm heading to Kuching, Sarawak for the second time to pay my gf a visit (and her mom...which is very hard to impress..). My flight is at 9:40am and I should have gone to bed. But I'm too tired. My eyes are as dry as Coke can against a sour plum. No, I don't know what it means.

I spoke with our Human Resource Manager about my intention to be transfered to Customer Service few days ago. She was totally surprised. So she told me that the reason the floor manager is pissed with everyone of us is actually because he had to give the company founder weekly report on stuff that we are doing. Meaning to say...he's having a major stress. She suggest that I stay in my current department.

So u know what? I went to see the floor manager and had a man to man talk. I'm older than him btw. So I said that I now know what's wrong with him, and then I will try as much as possible to help him. He showed his true colors after hearing that. He was like...totally down and never thought what sort of hell he's been giving to all of us. Yes..all of us.

Sometimes.. trying too hard is not good...to anyone near you or working with you. There will always be 'stress'..but how you handle it or channel it out is important. My boss always have this goddamn stress but he said to me that when get stressed out, he would just say... "Fuck it." How I adore this guy.

So what do people do when they're having stress? For some of these guys, they go to the gym, or to the nearest hawker stall, or play World of Warcraft (which I think is a bad idea..you'll get more stress). For me, there are several things that I'd do :

- compose songs (I'm composing a theme song for Offgamers btw. Sepultura's Roots style)
- listen to Cradle of Filth (sometimes I wish that I'm a real vampire. So I don't need to pay tax)
- do 3D (which after that pisses me off)
- sleep (I don't get much nowadays)

So how about you? Do you pull out your nose hair to release stress? Do what you want :)

Oh yeah..I've cut my hair. I want to murderise the hairstylist!! I wanted a Japanese-style school reject but instead I got a "I'm a 16 years old school boy and I like to study. When I grow up I want to be like Britney Spears." ZOMGWTFBBQ..........................................

Bleh..nevermind, it'll grow long again. I wish it's still 1995~98 tho. Because I really love my long hair. And the fact that I didn't shampoo for one who year still amazes me.

Shit..it's already 1:30AM. I'd better hit the sack.

Sarawak, here I come again :)

My internet is up again... So's my blood pressure.

2007-10-18T20:45:00.000+08:00

Sorry. I had to wait for Maxis to send me a 3G broadband modem. I wonder why the guy told me just need to 24hours to get my modem... =.=''

So far, the speed is acceptable. I subscribe the 384kbps package (for testing purposes) and I get about 250kbps. They do block my torrents but it will allow almost full speed after midnight until 6am. I wanna upgrade maybe in the next couple of months. heh.

Anyways, I am considering of quiting my current job. It's too hectic, tiring and emotional depressing. As I've wrote before, this is like my past past jobs but with higher pay. I'm considering to go back to 3D modelling and rendering.

The first month, I was really damn happy working here. But not anymore. My hardwork not being appreciated. No matter what I do, there will be mistakes, and I'm doing things that I'm not supposed to be doing. I applied for the advertising position. Not PC maintenance. They said, these PCs are under my jurisdiction. Hmm.. please look back to at my daily tasks.

These few weeks, I've been under a "new" floor manager. Well, he's actually a nice guy, but I think the pressure got into him. I don't appreciate people who doesnt follow "chain of command". I am still under my boss. So if he need things done he should liaise with my boss first (my boss totally agrees). It's very rude to jump ranks. There is a reason why my boss is sitting there. He aint no robot or dummy. I also don't appreciate people who asks for my report or status during lunch hour. I thought that I'm entitled for 1 hour of lunch? It's one and only time for me to clear my head, and detoxify all of these stress. Nowadays, all of the guys working under my boss are avoiding the floor manager. We don't hate him. We don't hate his nags. We hate how he treats us.

We are not babies. Just tell us one time, and one time only. Don't do a triple MSN, with a "can you please come and see me" combos. I take notes, and lots of notes. I think, I have more papers on my desks than anyone here in this building.

Today, I thought of packing my bag and just go home. Fire me. I don't care. When you've lost the passion to work, all of your job would be..."empty".

The first month, I do lots of research for my boss. Sometimes he would come over and tell me to get 2-3 infos about some games. I gave him 10 infos. Sometimes need maybe 10 links to nice websites (beneficial to the company), I gave him 40. Why? Because he made me love my job. And I did! I got loads of "good job!" remarks from him. Nowadays, I get loads of "fuck you"s from the floor manager. Can't he see that I'm working my ass off here? Doesnt he feel lucky to have someone who is willing to go back home late just to make sure everything works properly? Someone that won't think "oh, it's 6pm. I can go back home now and continue tomorrow, because in the aggrement my working hour is 9am-6pm"? I even come to the office on Sundays if something goes wrong.

I'm almost 31..but I cried in the office twice. I just can't believe wherever I work, people will treat me like a slave. My mom and gf told me that I'm "too kind to people". I can't bear to know that something's wrong or a job not done before I leave the office (i went back at midnight, twice, todate). I call it "being responsible". Some people call it "stupid". I agree with the later.

I'm thinking of quiting and go back to 3D...or maybe apply for a position in the Customer Service. I'm gonna get myself a new PC in the next 1-2 weeks time just to learn back 3DSMax and Vray (i still love Vray).

On a slight note, I'm going to Sarawak again this 27th until 31st. Anything that i can get for you guys? :)

Interesting Quotes from interesting people:

"3D is the future. Don't quit doing 3D."
- Mr Lim KC, Mirage Works

"You are not getting a 5 figure salary. So why the extra work? Go home."
-my current boss (bcoz this guy knows my problems. he's having the same problems as well)

"Fuck it."
- my current boss (it means, like, just ignore it. lol)

"There's a reason why people invented underwear.."
- my mom. lol.

"I wanna go home.."
- my gf, right after she reaches her office. :(

That's all for now. I'll write again soon, with the things and topics that I've promised.

Reading : PC Gamer, October issue
Listening : Lamb of God
Games : Rappelz (charname : Verthandi. Salamander server. Dual dirk critical Asura. Level30+)

I'm tired

2007-08-19T14:37:00.000+08:00

FAMILY

Last week, our family has got back into our house. But we have to share electricity and water from our neighbour (how kind). I still havent finished arranging my things, and it seems like I have the most stuff from the 3 of us :p At the moment, we're waiting for the approval to get us our own electricity and water. After that, I'll bring over my pc back into my house and then apply for a telephone line and ADSL. :)

I have a serious dust allergy so I kept sneezing and sneezing when I was arranging my stuff few hours ago (i'm at my friend's house right now, typing this). I wanted to go out and maybe catch The Simpsons (which i havent watch yet) but I just don't want to go out all alone. Watching movie or going out shopping alone is a suckfest. Bah..nevermind...

Why does Sarawak had to be so far far far away.....

WORK

Aww man... I really wish that they have someone to help me with these stuff. I dont want to keep going back late while my collegue keeps going back at 6:30pm. Those guys at Customer Service and Operations even thought that I work in a shift like them. My boss said that it';s not gonna happen anytime soon.. This is like my past job..but with higher pay...

LOVE

I'm feeling really lonely...and nobody knows about it. It's like...living back the 1990s era of my life. A nobody. I have to pretend that I'm having fun.

Rebuilding house

2007-07-29T19:30:00.000+08:00

HOUSE

So far so good as the house is currently being repaired and restored. The cost for rebuilding the roof and some part of the ceiling is about RM10,000. My dad is using all of his available EPF money (what's left of it from his shopping spree anyway..) to pay the contractors that amount of money.

Here's a couple of pics from yesterday and a day before.

The roof structure. Due to financial problems, we have to resort to wood

The zinc roof in place

WORK

Dunno why but i've had migraine since Saturday last week. Maybe i still cant get used of staring at the monitor from 9am till 9pm. I wonder how these ppl can get used to it. There's one guy in the PowerLeveling division who virtually doesnt go home to play WOW (World of Warcraft). Bunch of zombies.. LOL!

My job so far has been awesome albeit the workload was sometimes overwhelming. Oh yeah, i still havent got my salary yet. The PA told me that maybe i will get it early next month. Waa! How to survive with 50bucks for these few days? I havent even renew my bike license. :(

Anyway, i'm sorry that i cant tell you readers what exactly that i do bcoz it is considered as private and confidential :p

LOVE

Shaky. Disconcerting. Distort.

Well, got to run. Dinner time. Thanks for reading and droppingby :)

Facts of myself

2007-07-22T22:04:00.000+08:00

Hmm..for this post i'm gonna write some facts of myself that i would like to share.

Date and Place of Birth : 23rd October 1977, Bandar Sri Aman, Sarawak.

Weight and Height : It was 58kg (1996) but dropped to 46kg (2007) due to stress and depression, 173cm.

Schools : Fatima International Kindergarten, Gurney Primary School, Seri Ampang High School

Fave Color : Black, Orange and Purple.

Fave Food and Drink : Fried catfish with chilli and white pepper with rice, Tea with milk.

Fave car : Subaru Imprezza, Nissan Skyline R34

Fave mobilephone : Anything by Sony Ericcson

Computer experience : First PC experience at 9 years old, 1983 (DigDug was really famous back then.) I got my first PC around 1995. It was an Intel 386DX-2 , 8Mb RAM, 20Mb Harddisk.

Music experience : Had a band around 1996. I was the frontman, songwriter, composer, and drummer. The band name was 'firebreed'. Music genre was punk rock and grunge.

Art experience : Fall in love with Van Gogh's paintings when i was like 12 years old.

Fave PC games genre : Adventure (eg. Syberia, Sam and Max, Day of the Tentacle, Longest Journey etc etc)

Fave interior design concept : Minimalist

Fave graphic art concept : Dark art, artistic nude

Most hated artistes : Ning Baizura (so, if we have a faggot voice, we are 'Divas'?), Siti Nurhaliza

Most loved artistes : Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix

Fave politician to run Malaysia as PM: Tan Sri Lee Lam Thye

Most hated corporation I ever worked with : RHB Bank (post-merger). Kwong Yik Bank rules. DCB sucks.

Most hated music genre : anything with rap, indonesian music

Things that i want but i cant get it : Sarawakian tattoos, Dark purple hair dye.

Afraid of : Spiders

Loves : Cats Cats Cats Cats

First cigarette : 1994

Online games i've played : Silkroad Online, Ragnarok Online, ROSE Online, KAL Online, Ghost Online, RAN Online. Currently playing Granado Espada (Bathorie family, Palchelbel server)

Most awesome hotel i've stayed : Damai Beach Lagoon Resort, Santubong, Sarawak. I would totally recommend you to stay there. They're having a major uplift at the moment. I'll go there again someday.

Places i wanna go someday : Whole of Sarawak, New Zealand, Japan (Roponggi)

In the next 5~10 years... : Buy a house and a car, Get married, Reach upper position in Offgamers, Open a retail (a one-stop centre for gamers) and affiliate with Offgamers.

Tak Rajin Salah, Rajin Pun Salah.

2007-07-18T23:36:00.000+08:00

I just got back from mom's temporary house and was copying some mp3s from my pc to my USB drive. A colleague wanna hear some of my mp3 collections. Actually i dunno what to give him, so most of it are Cradle of Filth mp3s.

Had to stay back a bit late in the office today. Actually i can go back at around 6:30pm but due to some miscommunication with my boss (he was dead busy and forgot about my work in hand), i was left waiting for him. I've managed to set up the mini site, but i dunno if i can post the link here. I'll ask my boss. The php and database things for the mini site made my eyes go the other way around. We went for dinner at around 8pm and i had fried mee. I wasnt actually wanna eat because that would mess up my budget. I cant afford for any dinner yet. Whatever.

Later that evening, my girlfriend expressed her concern about me working until past 6:30pm. She knows what would happen to me if i'm totally stressed out (like, the whole time when i was working with Mirage Works). So, i tried to explain to her that my job is not really stressful, it's just that i dont have sufficient time to do it all in within the allocated time (up until 6:30pm that is). I even said that the company is currently recruiting some more people to join and hopefully will get suitable candidates to help my department out. So then she said to just leave her alone and stop sms-ing. I was left feeling like crap after that.... So i'm just gonna stay quite for awhile and let her cool down or something. I know and understands that she loves me and doesnt want me to be stressful until it would harm my health. I totally understands that. But she also have to understand that, i'm not having any stress. I am having fun! And there is no way in hell i'm gonna join the government sector just for the sake of going home at 4:30pm.

When i was leaving the office, my boss told me that he'll figure out the 'perfect' schedule for me so that i wont have to stay in the office past 6:30pm. Oh man...i fricking love this company. I wanna tell that news to my gf...but i dont think she wanna read my sms at the moment.

Tak rajin salah, Rajin pun salah.

oh ya..i dunno if i want to email everyone in the office to stop calling me via my Malay name tho.. bcoz i dont want to be labelled as a racist. I'm a Chinese in heart and soul. Deal with that.

I'm gonna try change my 'wakeup' schedule to 7am from now on. Hopefully not too late.

Goodnite~

p.s : Fuck You, DBKL. Fuck all of you for making my family beg for a fucking house. We aint gonna bribe you guys like what other people and those illegal Indonesians has done.

Busy Busy Day + Granado Espada

2007-07-17T23:02:00.000+08:00

I just got back from work. Had to co-design our sister site, figure out the site content and what kind of contest we wanna run, do research on several mmorpgs (i cant tell you what online games because it's a sensitive info) and also to supervise some stuff (again....classified info). It's fun to work here, especially because i've got the access card this morning which means i can come into the office without having to wait near the gate every bleep bleep morning, when i get back from lunch, or during the time i need a quick cigarette fix.

Routine nowadays would be like :

6:30am : wake up
7:30am : go to mom's temporary house and to have breakfast
8:30am : go to work [my gf suggested 8:45am tho]
9:30am : start work
1:30pm : lunch
2:30pm : work
6:30pm : go back (sometimes at 9pm like today. i was late bcoz i'm a newbie with few things)
7:15pm : reach mom's temporay house, dinner
10:00pm : go to friend's house (i sleep, wash my clothes, whatever here. My PC is here)

In the meantime, i play Granado Espada (to my gf : "it's an online game, Honey.") for testing and i will have to write a game guide about it. I'm excited to do it but unfortunately....hmm.. it's classified so i cant tell you why. Rawr! I'm gonna do it regardless.

Screenshots of my Granado Espada characters are as below. I turned off the GUI in the first screenshot for the sake of posing. Haha.

*yaaaaaaaaaaawnn...* time to sleep.

I'm an Offgamer now. Bwahaha!

2007-07-12T21:42:00.000+08:00

*yawn* I'm sleepy. Been waking up at 6am for the past two days to get ready for work *yawn*. I still cant get used of getting up that early (yet). Anyway..I'm working as an Advertising Assistant (they sell online game gold, power leveling and accounts buyback).

I still cant remember 99% of the staff's name, and still blur blur of the whole operation. But i totally got pwnd by the scale of Offgamers's organization. It's BIG (i tot they're like...a 5 men company or whatever...i was dead wrong). Four floors of dedicated (and heavy smokers) staff, with dead serious superiors, delivering awesome customer support. I still have to undergo "what the heck are they talking about?" phase and "S&A? S&P? OPR? Huh?" phase for the next few weeks. I very much like the job, maybe bcoz i'm doing what i like (and get paid for it). Now, no more nightmares from graphic designs and waiting 7hours for a 3D render! Woot!

Oh ya, my family is writing a letter to the Mayor, so maybe can get his help to get us a house :(

I would like to express a big thank you to Offgamers staff in welcoming me to the WoW-infested office :) (darn...i wanna play WoW too =.= )

Gtg sleep then. Another big day tomorrow.

p.s: a big kiss to my gf~

Gamu passed away

2007-06-30T16:21:00.000+08:00

On the 29th June 2007, my girlfriend's cat ; Gamu, passed away after suffering from Feline Immunodeficiency Virus

May Gamu rest in peace~

We are in deep shit

2007-06-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

I went to the city council today and asked about the status of our 'new' house that we are supposed to get by this week. I was gonna ride my bike but i still couldn't get used of the barbaric car drivers here (i got horned for riding within the speed limit. Goddamn Malaysians). My girlfriend said, "Good. I don't have to worry about you." when i told her that i would be taking the train.

Anyways, the city council told me that we wont be getting it because the burnt house wasn't on the government land. I was like..why do i have to endure all the trouble of going and calling up the city council then? Bollocks, I'd say. So, i got back home and told mom the news. She shed into tears....

We're thinking of hiring some guys to just repair the roof but unfortunately it's not that simple. We don't have much of money left and at the moment living off charity money from neighbours. The temporary house that we're staying at right now is too expensive (the rent). RM500 for a 1 room house? My dad's salary is merely RM700! We're even thinking of canceling the Genting trip since every one's not in the mood.

We have some family problems that my dad have to attend to in order for us to have the green light of fixing the roof. It's...complicated. Let's just say, that single land has got 4 names. And 2 of them sucks and all they think is to sell the land. So..where the heck do we stay if they sell it, right? On the streets. That's where.

So...i don't know what to think right now. Hearing my mom's cries and sighs makes me wanna kill myself sometimes..

My artwork can be seen at KLCC. Omg!

2007-06-17T20:36:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, me and mykucing went to KLCC to buy a universal remote for my mom's TV. The original remote were destroyed in the fire, therefore i had to buy one. My mom have weak knees so it's kinda troublesome to keep walking back and forth to change the channel. After buying that, we walked around KLCC when suddenly...I saw my O2 artwork being used by an outlet selling tech gadgets!! Checkout the following pics (thanks to mykucing for borrowing me his Bluetooth dongle)

Pic 1 : Bottom panel

The pesky fireflies!! The butt is actually the PDA, and the screen is so bright it lights up like a firefly ass. During the color correction stage, O2 actually helped me a lot in giving me ideas to make the fireflies look really hi-tech and awesome.

Pic 2 : Top panel

That's my FIRST ever commercial art that I did from scratch; starting from a stock photo of a jungle (given to me by them), removing all of the trees, selecting nice trees and putting it back in, cloning the grass (the color correction for the grass was a pain in the meow meow), 'cleaning' up the PDA, putting in the fireflies (after much correction), and then (suddenly) have to do it all over again because suddenly they wanted it in A1 landscape format. I did an A2 portrait format as per their request at first, but never mind.

Hmm...i wish i could see my Nokia ad that i did...if only i'm at Singapore that is =.=' (i did the ad for an agency called Kinetic Singapore. They handles Nokia ad and promo jobs). The Nokia phone ad that i did was for the Nokia 7373 and Nokia 7390.

Pic 3. The outlet

I'm really happy to see one of my best art being used. ^^v Somebody asked me before, do i feel regret that i had to leave graphic design world. The answer : who ever said of leaving? I can still do freelance jobs. Hmm..i'm gonna have to get myself a new PC =.=' Oh well, gambatte ne, Shizu-chan.

Links :

Suria KLCC

Nokia 7390

Nokia 7373

New house in a week or two

2007-06-15T19:46:00.000+08:00

Good things finally emerged from the black mist of fire and thus darkness hast fallen (whoa..sorry about that).

2 days ago, i buffed up my courage and tried to ride my bike for the first time :p well, it's not really that hard, it's just heavy and some difficulties when shifting gears. My current problem is that i couldn't get used of the throttle control. Normally i ride the bicycle where the handles does nothing (as opposed to having a throttle on a bike) :p

Oh yeah, we're gonna get a new house in a week or two but we still don't have any ideas where will it be. I went to Sungai Wang Plaza yesterday and had to buy a new mobile phone charger for my crap ass Motorola V3x. Had to buy the cheapest that i can find, so i bought one at Novocell, which i trust at their quality and awesome warranty.

Oh by the way, my gf's cat is dying from an infection (it's like Aids but for feline). There's no cure :( We're hoping for a miracle. Even though she said that she doesn't believe in one, i still believe in it. Bcoz my miracle is her.

So, here i am, practicing riding the bike, buying my family food (that's my duty. duh.), trying to comfort them, and waiting for the latest news of our new house. Aww man..i'm hungry.

My house burnt down

2007-06-11T17:59:00.000+08:00

At about 5pm, Saturday, my house caught on fire. We managed to salvaged 99% of our belongings. At this time of the blog being typed, :-

1- i am at my friend's house (aka mykucing), wash my clothes, parked my newly bought bike here

2- mom and dad at a rented house for temporary

3- sis and her husband at their own house ( i wonder why they didnt suggest to mom and dad to move to their house................................=.=a )

4- trying to get a house as quickly as possible.

5- will still go to Genting Highlands for holiday. heck, we fricking need it after all this crap.

6- i lost like 5kg~10kgs because of sadness, shocked,....no appetite to eat

7- thank you to offgamers.com for wanting a loser like me to work with them. you guys wont be dissapointed with a dedicated and hardworking staff (my dad is my role model. His perfect attendence record is kinda hard to beat tho...) Your logo still kicked my ass. Hard.

8- now we realise who are our friends, and who are bunches of pricks.

I took some pics but i guess the SDcard reader were destroyed, therefore i cant upload with pics from my phone to the pc yet, but still you can checkout some pics on my friend's blog.

mykucing blog with pics of my memorable house burnt down :(

Thanks to my girlfriend for the mental support, mykucing for staying at his house and giving me some pocket money, and my relatives for helping us out.

Songs I Grew Up With

2007-06-01T18:12:00.000+08:00

Hmm..i was thinking of how fast the time has gone past me..and then suddenly I heard Deep Purple's Perfect Stranger last night on the radio (which I seldom listen to). I'm getting older and older by the minute. Bleh :p

So, here there are (as long as I can still remember tho) :

update 11/06/07 : Thanks to Holyboy for reminding me of Mariah Carey

1977 : Born

<1985
note: 'i know nothing about music' era. My dad loves the blues and rock. Small kid days.

Jimi Hendrix : Hey Joe!, Foxey lady, All along the Watchtower, Voodoo child, Purple Haze
Cliff Richard
Abba
The Carpenters
Eric Clapton
B.B King
Santana : Black magic woman
Micheal Jackson : Billie Jean, Thriller (the video was so scary! lol!)
BoneyM

1985-1995
note: my pop, blues and rock era. Schooling days.

Nirvana : Bleach album (hard to find during that time), Nevermind album, Incesticide album
Hole : Live through this album. After that album, all of them are crap.
Sonic Youth : i can't remember any
B-52 : Love Shack
Weird Al Yankovic : Trigger Happy
Bangles : Manic Monday, Eternal Flame
Metallica : the Black album
Blondie : Call Me (my dad threw away the cassette. he said they're 'noisy'. haha)
Bon Jovi : Living on a prayer
Bruce Springsteen : hmm..can't remember any
Cyndi Lauper : Girls just wanna have fun
Def Leppard : Love bites
Duran Duran : can't remember any
Eurythmics : Sweet Dreams (are made of this)
Heart : These dreams
Dr Alban : One love, It's my life, No coke
Mr Big : To be with you
Pet Shop Boys : West end girls
Whitesnake : Is this love (so many love songs...)
Whitney Houston : Greatest love of all
Phil Collins: Another day in Paradise
Queen : Radio Ga-Ga, i forgot the other one
Roxette : Joyride
Survivor : Eye of the Tiger
Van Halen : Jump
Wham! : Careless whisper (geez........what the heck was i thinking back then)
Belinda Carlisle : Circle in the Sand
Iron Maiden : Powerslave album
Pantera : Vulgar display of power
Red Hot Chilli Peppers : Bloodsexsugarmagic album

1995-present
note : "the downfall of life". after school graduation.

Nirvana : In Utero album
Sepultura : Arise album, Schizophrenia album, Chaos AD album, Roots album
Cradle of Filth : 'V' Empire album, Cruelty and the Beast album, Thornography album
Foo Fighters : the debut album.
Green Day : Dookie album ('When I come around' was the first song i learned to play guitar)
Sweet 75 : Chris Novoselic's project band
Ayumi Hamasaki : Duty album (i kinda like J-Pop around year 2000)
Korn : Follow the Leader album, Life is Peachy album
Rammstein : Du Hast, Bestrafe Mich, Sehnsucht, Benzin (it's a German band)
Slipknot : Iowa album, Subliminal Verses album
System of a Down : Mesmerize album
The Vines : Highly Evolved album
Mariah Carey : Butterfly album, Music Box album, #1's,. I totally love these songs from her : One Sweet Day, Always Be My Baby, Vision of Love, Long Ago, ..but i forgot the Elton John cover. THAT song should be in a music hall of fame or something.

Hmm...i think i got most of it.

So what's my MOST favourite song?

I still don't know. :p I'll update/edit this post if there are any additions.

In the meantime, here's a clip of Jimi Hendrix with his song Purple Haze :)

Let your anger out.

2007-05-24T17:12:00.001+08:00

I have a close friend that's very kind and doesnt have any problem financially. I've known him almost 20+ years and we've gone through hell and high water together. But, there is one thing that bothers me about this guy ; whatever bad things happen to him, he would just stay quite.. but, would vent out his anger on me. Well, not hitting or blaming me, but telling me about it. Here's a simple scenario that happens almost everyday to him :

Me and him in his car, going back to his house, when suddenly we saw a car blocking his driveway.

Me : "oh, it's your brother's car."

Him : "yeah. i'm really pissed. he always park his car infront of the driveway, and ofcourse i cant park inside. [insert really lame choice of profanity here]"

Me : "so, why dont you just go in and scold him then?"

Him : "nah. just let him be. i dont want any rucus. i'll park near your house then."

Me : "..........."

This is one situation of what i call ; chicken shit. You are REALLY mad! But you just keep it in your heart. Sure, that would make the other person happy and keep doing his kiasu attitude on you. BUT. It would eventually destroy you ; mentally. (and make me sick of hearing this kind of thing everyday from him..."my brother is kiasu but i'm not gonna say anything ...yada yada yada, or my dad pampers my little brother too much but i'm not gonna say anything..yada yada yada). That's not the healthy way of anger management. If you're not pleased of something, you should tell it to that person.

You can start by saying something like, "Can you please move your car, i need to park inside. Please dont do it again bcoz it's annoying." It's that simple. And believe me, it's effective.

Any other ways that you would like to share? Post them up. :)

*kiasu : "i dont care about other people" attitude

Awesome Link For Today : I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?

Kuala Lumpur International Book Fair 2007

2007-05-10T19:00:00.000+08:00

Yup. I was away for about 10 days and worked as a temp for Saba Islamic Media, over at PWTC. It was such a nightmare actually bcoz of the dusts from the book. I suffered a major pimple break (i have extreme allergy to dusts), body aches (doctor had specifically told me not to lift any heavy objects) and stupid customers (that's normal).

Unloading time!

The opening day

It was all right i guess. The floor managers were cool. The provided food was a-okay. I even managed to sneaked out few times for quick cigarette puffs :p

The 'office hour' was basically 9am - 10pm, and every morning i felt like my body was cursing every second. But it's a memorable experience :)

Despite all that, i have few gripes that maybe someday the management should look into.

1) No dinner : They do provide lunch but unfortunately no dinner. Given the fact that we have to work until 10pm with no dinner would actually spell trouble next time. I would suggest that they provide the staff dinner around 6pm so that they would get energy to give the company profit. Duh. That's the point, right? Profit. Give them energy, see them smile, count the money.

2) Worthless staff : I would like to say nice job to all you who had given all to attend to customers eventho you guys were damn tired and hungry. The temp staff were attentive and hardworking :) ...i wish i could say the same for Saba's own staff. I could point atleast 2 people who literally 'just stand there and do nothing'. My opinion didnt go to waste as to quote Brother Abdullah during the time we were at the headquarters to unload the boxes from the lorry, "Staff kita sendiri yang tak boleh diharap." ("We can't rely on our own staff")

3) Rude PWTC security guards : The closing time was at 10pm..for THE CUSTOMERS AND PATRONS, moron. So next time dont whistle those people to get out. Where's the courtesy? Where's the manners? And after that, atleast give us like 15minutes to cleanup. Geez. My father is a security guard as well (for like 25+ years, with perfect attendance, with zero medical leave. try to beat that, asshole.).

Wargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The PWTC loading/unloading bay. Brother Abdullah (white shirt in the middle) was really exhausted

Saba Islamic Media, Setiawangsa, KL

Oh yeah, in other news; i still havent got any reply or call from NST..which really sad. Time to recover back my pimple-ridden face... :(

Excellent week. I think.

2007-04-25T17:59:00.000+08:00

Temporary Job

2 days ago, me and my friend, Ijat, went to Saba Islamic Media shop to check out some Ahmed Deedat videodiscs. I was looking for the second part of a particular debate between him and a pastor, but unfortunately it's sold out. Well, most of it has already been sold but the worker there said that those sold out titles will be available at a book fest this Friday at PWTC. Lo and behold, she was looking for someone to take care of the book counter because they were shorthanded. And the worker maybe be thinking that I have some knowledge about Ahmed Deedat. Ijat said that it's an opportunity for me to get some income before i land myself a permanent job (hopefully with New Straits Times). So i said YES. Haha. Eventho it's only for 10 days and RM40 per day, heck, i think that's a good deal. The book fest will start this week. Check out the Saba counter if you're there :)

Links :

Ijat's Blog

Ahmed Deedat

Saba Islamic Media

T-Shirt Competition

At the moment, I'm designing some shirts for Lowyat.Net's community. Hopefully i'll win it because my girlfriend seriously in need of a new mobile phone.

Listening : Hatebreed :Supremacy
Reading : Job vacancies in newspaper
Playing : Test Drive Unlimited, PS2 version
Mood : Blur

My trip to Kuching, Sarawak [part 2]

2007-04-23T01:21:00.000+08:00

Road and Traffic Condition

Hmm.. it's MUCH better than Kuala Lumpur! Kuala Lumpur roads are like pre-World War 2 with potholes and visible cracks. They would only repair it when someone dies from it (welcome to Malaysia). Sure, you can lodge complaints about it but eh eh, aint gonna cut it.

I would like to say congratulations to Sarawak Ministry for keeping the road smooth! I am a proud Sarawakian here! :)

As far as traffic goes, if you're planning to rent a car and drive around, you will notice the following :

1. You will notice that drivers there doesnt use the horn
2. Rarely see the drivers use the turning light signal (my English kinda suck :P)
3. So many roundabouts
4. More cars than motorcycles

Some explanation:

1) For Sarawakian drivers, using the Horn is considered VERY RUDE. They will only use it if their blood-pressure is really high and gonna go look for trouble. Be careful. If you horn one of the gangster members..you're dead. Keep the horn to yourself :P

2) They can read each others mind, so thats why they dont bother to use the signal. According to my girlfriend, they have less road accidents than Kuala Lumpur.

3) That's the first thing she said to me :"We have a roundabout every 15 seconds here". Haha.

4) Their public transportation are almost non-existent, so for these people buying a car is a necessity. I hope they will do something about the public transport (bus and taxi generally) or tourists gonna go back home feeling disappointed.

The City of Kuching

Uuuuuuu...the last time i went here was like, when i was 2 years old. Mwahaha! Anyways, it is very clean, beautiful, good city planning (unlike Kuala Lumpur), so many trees (which i really like), awesome cat statues around the city, not so many cars and so many eateries. You can find some shopping malls as well (but why would you go to the mall?), be sure to check out the Waterfront during the night or you can go there during the day and take a ride on one of their boats (they call it 'bot penambang')

Okay then, it's 2AM here. I'll proceed with Part 3 some other day :)

EDIT : According to my girlfriend : "It's called perahu penambang, and not bot penambang. The roundabouts are not 15seconds each, but actually big and a lot :p "

My trip to Kuching, Sarawak [part 1]

2007-04-11T19:46:00.000+08:00

I got to know my girlfriend when she first sent me a message in Friendster on 13th March 2006. And long story short i was thinking of coming over and visit her for the first time on the 3rd March 2007. I was working with an advertising agency circa Sept-April 2007 as a Digital Imaging Artist (basically turn something impossible into possible using Photoshop, eg. turn a skinny guy into a fat guy, or, turn a couple of trees into a forest [the forest in O2 pda advertisement was my work] ), and there was no way i'm gonna be able to take a vacation even for few days bcoz i'm the only artist there (i have to go work on Sundays as well. Basically, i have no life).

Due to the pressure of handling so many jobs and the fact that i wanna a vacation, i quit my job (still jobless tho). So, there i was buying airplane tickets to Sarawak (i live in Kuala Lumpur, across the sea :p).

I have never ever board an airplane before so i was like...flabbergasted and paranoid. Well, okay, I was born in Sarawak but that doesnt count bcoz i was still a baby. The flight was at 8:50am and i had only slept about 2hours before that. Thanks to my friend, he sent me to KL Sentral station around 3:30am whereby i took the Air Asia bus to the LCCT Airport for a mere RM9.90. I couldnt sleep when i was in the bus either. Oh crap, i said to myself.

I couldnt believe my eyes when i reached the airport. It was the first time i had ever been to such place. And oh my god..so cold! I've forgot to bring my sweats! warghh!

The airport kinda chaotic with lots of people going dunno where. Oh, i thought it's a strictly no smoking area? How come people can leisurely smoke near the entrance? Seeing that, i smoked as well. Haha! The point is, they might as well take off the No Smoking signs because kinda useless to be putting those on without enforcements. As a smoker myself and first time being at an airport, i will try to find any place where there are not much of people ; the parking lot for instance. And bloody hell, please throw the cigarette butts properly, fellow smokers.

After all the procedures that i still dont understand, i managed to get into the Boarding room (is that what it's called? I dunno) where the sight of airplanes almost made me jumped with joy! I was like, holy crap! Normally i see those things on TV or magazines. Uhmm..pardon the boy-meets-world stuff.

When i was in the plane, i took a seat near the wings bcoz i wanna checkout the turbine engine. The takeoff was a n-i-g-h-t-m-a-r-e (atleast for me). During on the landing strip, the plane went from zero to 1billion km/h in like 5 seconds and that caught me on surprise (or is it bcoz the LCCT strip is short?) and rosed up in a very very very very steep angle, almost like when i was on a rollercoaster. This experience contradicts with my experience from Sarawak to KL (later in part 2) plane ride. Hmm..is it normal for Air Asia plane to be so cold? I was literally shivering in there. I heard a passenger requesting for a blanket but the stewardess said that they dont have such thing but would like to offer a hot drink instead. Uhmm..i dunno what to say.. Are those blankets i saw on tv just for Execs? And not for Business? Why the weird policy? What's the deal?

The plane ride was not smooth at all. The pilot steered the plane (do we call it 'steer'? i dunno) in a very 'jagged and harsh' style. After one a half hours of totally uncomfortable ride, we finally reached the Kuching International Airport. The landing? It was surprisingly s-m-o-o-t-h. Thank God.

I almost couldnt stand up bcoz i was still shivering that time, but managed to crawl (just kidding) into the terminal, where i hurriedly got into the toilet. Pee? Nope. The hand-dryer!!

After all that, i walked outside and eagerly waited for my girlfriend to arrive and pick me up.

I'll proceed with Part 2 soon. Hmm..how do i post lots of photos in a blog anyway....

~Shizu

The invisible chain. Or maybe not.

2007-04-09T22:16:00.000+08:00

Hmm... i got attacked by a series of depression today. Fortunately, i have a very understanding girlfriend. U see, being jobless aint no easy deal. People look down on you as if you're a piece of crap. Being bombarded with the same question ; "When are u going to get a job?", aint gonna help the situation either.

Anyway, for today i sent resumes to Sogo and Redbliss (located at Jalan Loke Yew). My girlfriend told me to maybe try write in to Hewlett Packard. But the thoughts of Hewlett Packard (Singapore to be exact) makes me sick. I did their CPU design (wrap around sticker thingy), and suddenly they wanted each designs to be in 700dpi. Yes, 700dpi. For an international company, they sure as hell dumb as a mule. Even for billboards, we use 300dpi, moron. Even their Accounts Executive gave me the F word bcoz i told them 700dpi x 15 artworks gonna take time even for a high-end PC. Geez. Maybe he was lacking of sex. Oh wait, i hope he have few kilos of Viagra.

On my next blogs, i'll be blogging about my life as a kid growing up in a super protective family, to love failures, suicide attempts, work life, why i am jobless and cats :)

And it's damn hot here in Kuala Lumpur. God forgot to turn off His microwave i guess. *sic*

~Shizu

Haloo~

2007-04-07T01:01:00.000+08:00

Yay! Thanks to my girlfriend for suggesting me the URL address. Will start posting crap..i mean..stuff soon.