As at the time of this writing, it's almost 1AM. I'm heading to Kuching, Sarawak for the second time to pay my gf a visit (and her mom...which is very hard to impress..). My flight is at 9:40am and I should have gone to bed. But I'm too tired. My eyes are as dry as Coke can against a sour plum. No, I don't know what it means.

I spoke with our Human Resource Manager about my intention to be transfered to Customer Service few days ago. She was totally surprised. So she told me that the reason the floor manager is pissed with everyone of us is actually because he had to give the company founder weekly report on stuff that we are doing. Meaning to say...he's having a major stress. She suggest that I stay in my current department.

So u know what? I went to see the floor manager and had a man to man talk. I'm older than him btw. So I said that I now know what's wrong with him, and then I will try as much as possible to help him. He showed his true colors after hearing that. He was like...totally down and never thought what sort of hell he's been giving to all of us. Yes..all of us.

Sometimes.. trying too hard is not good...to anyone near you or working with you. There will always be 'stress'..but how you handle it or channel it out is important. My boss always have this goddamn stress but he said to me that when get stressed out, he would just say... "Fuck it." How I adore this guy.

So what do people do when they're having stress? For some of these guys, they go to the gym, or to the nearest hawker stall, or play World of Warcraft (which I think is a bad idea..you'll get more stress). For me, there are several things that I'd do :

- compose songs (I'm composing a theme song for Offgamers btw. Sepultura's Roots style)
- listen to Cradle of Filth (sometimes I wish that I'm a real vampire. So I don't need to pay tax)
- do 3D (which after that pisses me off)
- sleep (I don't get much nowadays)

So how about you? Do you pull out your nose hair to release stress? Do what you want :)

Oh yeah..I've cut my hair. I want to murderise the hairstylist!! I wanted a Japanese-style school reject but instead I got a "I'm a 16 years old school boy and I like to study. When I grow up I want to be like Britney Spears." ZOMGWTFBBQ..........................................

Bleh..nevermind, it'll grow long again. I wish it's still 1995~98 tho. Because I really love my long hair. And the fact that I didn't shampoo for one who year still amazes me.

Shit..it's already 1:30AM. I'd better hit the sack.

Sarawak, here I come again :)

Sorry. I had to wait for Maxis to send me a 3G broadband modem. I wonder why the guy told me just need to 24hours to get my modem... =.=''

So far, the speed is acceptable. I subscribe the 384kbps package (for testing purposes) and I get about 250kbps. They do block my torrents but it will allow almost full speed after midnight until 6am. I wanna upgrade maybe in the next couple of months. heh.

Anyways, I am considering of quiting my current job. It's too hectic, tiring and emotional depressing. As I've wrote before, this is like my past past jobs but with higher pay. I'm considering to go back to 3D modelling and rendering.

The first month, I was really damn happy working here. But not anymore. My hardwork not being appreciated. No matter what I do, there will be mistakes, and I'm doing things that I'm not supposed to be doing. I applied for the advertising position. Not PC maintenance. They said, these PCs are under my jurisdiction. Hmm.. please look back to at my daily tasks.

These few weeks, I've been under a "new" floor manager. Well, he's actually a nice guy, but I think the pressure got into him. I don't appreciate people who doesnt follow "chain of command". I am still under my boss. So if he need things done he should liaise with my boss first (my boss totally agrees). It's very rude to jump ranks. There is a reason why my boss is sitting there. He aint no robot or dummy. I also don't appreciate people who asks for my report or status during lunch hour. I thought that I'm entitled for 1 hour of lunch? It's one and only time for me to clear my head, and detoxify all of these stress. Nowadays, all of the guys working under my boss are avoiding the floor manager. We don't hate him. We don't hate his nags. We hate how he treats us.

We are not babies. Just tell us one time, and one time only. Don't do a triple MSN, with a "can you please come and see me" combos. I take notes, and lots of notes. I think, I have more papers on my desks than anyone here in this building.

Today, I thought of packing my bag and just go home. Fire me. I don't care. When you've lost the passion to work, all of your job would be..."empty".

The first month, I do lots of research for my boss. Sometimes he would come over and tell me to get 2-3 infos about some games. I gave him 10 infos. Sometimes need maybe 10 links to nice websites (beneficial to the company), I gave him 40. Why? Because he made me love my job. And I did! I got loads of "good job!" remarks from him. Nowadays, I get loads of "fuck you"s from the floor manager. Can't he see that I'm working my ass off here? Doesnt he feel lucky to have someone who is willing to go back home late just to make sure everything works properly? Someone that won't think "oh, it's 6pm. I can go back home now and continue tomorrow, because in the aggrement my working hour is 9am-6pm"? I even come to the office on Sundays if something goes wrong.

I'm almost 31..but I cried in the office twice. I just can't believe wherever I work, people will treat me like a slave. My mom and gf told me that I'm "too kind to people". I can't bear to know that something's wrong or a job not done before I leave the office (i went back at midnight, twice, todate). I call it "being responsible". Some people call it "stupid". I agree with the later.

I'm thinking of quiting and go back to 3D...or maybe apply for a position in the Customer Service. I'm gonna get myself a new PC in the next 1-2 weeks time just to learn back 3DSMax and Vray (i still love Vray).

On a slight note, I'm going to Sarawak again this 27th until 31st. Anything that i can get for you guys? :)


Interesting Quotes from interesting people:

"3D is the future. Don't quit doing 3D."
- Mr Lim KC, Mirage Works

"You are not getting a 5 figure salary. So why the extra work? Go home."
-my current boss (bcoz this guy knows my problems. he's having the same problems as well)

"Fuck it."
- my current boss (it means, like, just ignore it. lol)

"There's a reason why people invented underwear.."
- my mom. lol.

"I wanna go home.."
- my gf, right after she reaches her office. :(


That's all for now. I'll write again soon, with the things and topics that I've promised.



Reading : PC Gamer, October issue
Listening : Lamb of God
Games : Rappelz (charname : Verthandi. Salamander server. Dual dirk critical Asura. Level30+)