Bethamy "complained" that the top header image was disturbing and gruesome (to her..) and she wasn't able to leave any "comments" for any of my posts. So, what the heck, I've changed everything back to default. So, eat your heart out and leave comments! =)

It's my lunch time right now, so..... /run

Last Friday, I went back with the office HR staff (which will remain anonymous for privacy sake). Normally I would try to finish up my work as soon as possible so that I could go back with her (yeah, I know..). I get frustrated sometimes if I couldn't finish up my work when she comes over and say, "Hey, quick quick!". I used to have the hots for her but decided to just let it go. I have the tendency to go with relationship that I know gonna get me into such headache. She's not the same race and religion as me, eventho I'm an Atheist..but hey, this is Malaysia, land of freedom (bwahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!)

coff coff..uhmm.. Anyways..

I MSN-ed her and said to get ready to go back (around 6:30pm). She said she'll wait me downstairs bcoz she's already done with her work. I panicked bcoz I haven't wrote my daily report yet. After pushing the Turbo button I managed to get it done in less than 60secs. (Hmm..i wonder what i wrote in the daily report..) so I went down and waited for her. U know what...she stood me up again. It's her attitude, that she can't wait for several more minutes. So there I was, smoking another ciggy. And then I thought..bleh..I should just go home. Right before I cross the road nearby a clinic here, I gave her a call. Surprisingly, she said that she's coming down! WTH. So I ran back and waited... Lalala.. Odd enough, I'm waiting for her instead of the other way around.

Anyway, she kept "playing" with her mobilephone, all the time keeping her head down. When we were gonna sit down and wait for the train to come.....she sat on the right side of the steel bench..normally she would sit on the left.. Weird eh.

And then she would continue to play with her mobilephone, all the while keeping her hair to the frontside as much as possible. I knew something was not right... Same thing with when we got into the train, she would sit on the right. "What's she hiding?", I thought. Throughout the journey she never dared to look at my face. So it was my stop, and then she finally looked at me to say goodbye and I saw what was wrong with her ; she got some small scars near her lips and right side of her face. (maybe she fell down). I was..ahhhhh..now I know why..

Right after I get off the train, I sent her a text message,

"Don't be afraid of how you look like."

She replied back saying of how I could managed to know about it and said thank you.

Wow.. life is interesting.

So how do you think people like me with thousands of hole on my face live and face the community? If you read my post regarding 2002, I would just fuck you off with my small small fist (which still surprises me with its devastating effect..bleh). Nowadays, I just keep it in my heart. No point of getting into trouble now. I'm 30~31. I'm tired.

You know, I'm glad and not glad. Glad that atleast someone on earth understands how it feels like to live with "not perfect" face. I'm not glad bcoz I know how she's feeling right now.

"HR Girl, be strong ya! And don't forget my salary.. Hehe.."

Anyway, I feel bad about posting the 2002 blog the other day. Eventho those were the things I would pretty much like to express, I guess those aren't right or civilized. Sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings.

To my floor manager ; Take it easy, man. I know what you're going through. I got the same faith as yours exactly on New Year. Yes, it's true ; Alpha and Omega. What ever ends comes with a new beginning. If you wanna go lunch or yam cha with me some day, just let me know. Yes I know, you read my blog.....

To wrap things off for today, here are some memorable quotes from Offgamers's staff :

"Everybody is born stupid. But I learned to fuck." -Floor Manager. How disconcerting....
"What's the ETA? Where's your report?" -A colleague imitating the Flr Mgr..everyday..
""God" is nothing more than a marketing scheme." -A fellow Atheist in the office.

Misc Things:
1. Playing Granado Espada again. The Flr Mgr gave me 1million Vis. Woohoo!
2. Playing Need For Speed ProStreet. Goddamn..the R35 is sure as hell good looking.

Ah..I love 2002. That's when I got really long hair, kept saying 'fuck you' to total strangers, always in some sort of fight, wore my Nirvana and/or Cradle of Filth shirt, gave no shit about love or what people said about me. Those were the days. How ironic, that when, I keep my head down and be a better person (who are you to judge what is good or bad anyway), there are lots of people trying to take advantage of me. Either on the way to the office, while working, or just plain hang out, people would think like I'm...nothing..Just a person to step on or don't give a fuck. Hmm.."come over" to 2002 then..if you dare. It's the year when I don't care if I've combed my hair to "normal people standards", don't even know the word "sorry" and "thank you" and pissed when people talk about how great god is.
Well, after I've changed, like I said, people think that I'm weak and can just step on my head.... Don't play with fire. 'Cause a tiny fire could burn one big kingdom.

Here are the things I want to point out, if you know what I'm talking about, then it's for you.. :

"Me from 2002" speaking

1. I don't fucking care if you can't move in with me. Stay there then.

2. Fuck you for telling me what to do with my body. You're not Miss World.

3. I can't do all these fucking job alone and expect all these fucking crap to finish before 6pm. What happens if I suddenly quit my job or MIA?

4. This new big project I'm gonna have to do, cannot be done alone. Yeah, you know that I can't do it alone because short of manpower. Well, whoop-dee-doo, Mr Professor. If right now I always go back late, can you imagine what time I'll be going back when I start doing this new thing?

5. I'm hardworking BUT DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE. HOLY FUCK.

6. Why the fuck I always get long-distance girlfriends who aren't committed to relationship? Why the fuck ALWAYS long-distance?

7. Why the fuck you send a guy to the moon but there are lots of people starving in your country? Fucking retard.

8. People are quiting because not much of public holidays and no OT. I know that you don't know why so I'm telling you now. They're tired. Girl, you better act quick. Heck, eventho no OT but I still stay back to finish my work. What do I get in return? Just tired and sleepy next morning. I read somewhere on the Net, one of the reasons ppl quit is bcoz the boss never said Thank You.

9. I'm not an emo. You're just blinded with capitalism. Go in the gray area sometime and you'll see what I see.

Those are the things I would say if I'm still in 2002. I don't actually like to go back there, but I just hate it when people think that I like to say "sorry, it's my fault" all the time. I've changed my life to be a better person (whatever you mean by "better"..seems like i'm still surrounded by morons who call themselves as "normal people") but...........you know wat...........

"..well, whatever, nevermind.. " -Kurt Cobain.

I'm surrounded by "perfect" people. What can I do?